Borderlands Elite
by Raxychaz
Summary: Elite Jounin Menma Uzumaki finds himself, in the snow of all places. An explosion later and he meets a rather colourful bunch, maybe this place isn't so bad, 'soon as he's able to figure out what the hell 'digistruct' means, ah well. Maybe Gaige will teach him? And this Ugly Urkel asshole will more than likely be dead soon.
1. Chapter 1

**Right well, I've been playing Borderlands 1 & 2 a shit ton over the past week or so, and I must say i'm a little disappointed there are so few fanfics of it, well so few of substance, no offence but i find endless one-shots boring as fuck, and the few that are there have stopped being produced.**

**Not that i can really talk on that front, XD.**

**Anyway, this one will be a little less hijinks than my other ones, so please enjoy :).**

**Start.**

Menma _Uzumaki_, Kami how he hated that name, well not the name so much, it was pretty ok, just those who were associated with the name, Kushina Uzumaki, Minato Namikaze-Uzumaki and Naruto Uzumaki, his family.

He used the term loosely by the way.

At the age of 16 Menma wasn't really interested in them, he was an Elite Jounin for Konoha, sure, he was the container for the Soul of the Kyuubi, double sure, he was also one who created various techniques to remove large obstacles from his path, the Rasenringu being his main 'Blow shit up and get it away from me' jutsu.

As the first son of the Yondaime Hokage he was quite revered by the people of Konoha, many assumed he would be taking his father's seat, he had no interest in such, no he had interest in weapons, jutsu, new food, sex, jutsu, explosions, murdering other ninja, and jutsu.

He liked Jutsu.

He had several hundred in his arsenal, which he gained from training 'till his fingers bled and his knuckles were raw and having the soul of Madara Uchiha stuffed into his body at birth, Madara-sama was like the awesome uncle who enabled his crazy side, which was equally awesome. Madara never revealed as to why or how for that matter above saying that he 'wanted a legacy', Menma was cool with that, the Uchiha was also cool enough to teach him a _shit ton_ of stuff and even messed with his DNA...somehow, to put his (Madara's) blood into Menma's system, again he had no friggen idea as to how, but the resulting Mangekyo Sharingan was more than enough to buy his silence.

Something he kept hidden at _all times_ when around other Konoha Shinobi, but he did dick about copying various techniques, like the Chidori and Raikiri, it made doing seal alot easier because he would just watch Minato or Kushina write a few up then his body would work on auto-pilot to make them.

Back to the original point.

During his youth, talking like...5-11 ish in age terms here, Naruto was the favorite, getting all the good little treats and other such lovely shit that the favorite gets, sure Menma didn't get _nothing_ they weren't stupid enough to forget their eldest, it's just the seemed to like the bubbly blonde more, Menma had no qualms with this really, to be quite honest he preferred being a shadow.

No, he had qualms with the fact that Minato denounced him as Clan Heir, something he had no right to do as Kushina is the only remaining full-blooded Uzumaki, and made Naruto the Heir, that made the black haired Uzumaki's blood burn in rage.

But he kept it in, he had his outlet, and thus is why the Land of Fire had no bandit camps...ever. The several charred corpses around their usual set up places were enough to ward them away.

He found solace, of course, he suffered through the indignities that was becoming the first born second son, not that there were that many to be quite honest, the occasional jeering from Kiba Inuzuka or the strange looks from the Uchiha boy, Sasuke.

Menma decided to fuck Kiba's sister Hana several times as pay back; he made sure at one point that the boy would walk in on him pile driving his sister, only to have Tsume pull him away to avoid unwanted damage.

Twas a fun day.

Hana was cool with it too, a healthy sex-friendship helped her a shit ton during her heat cycle.

So far off track...

Anyway!

Menma Uzumaki, was all these things, he'd put up with quite a lot of shit through his life but didn't really let it phase him, it was now however that he found himself wondering, just where the flying fuck he was.

Because he was not in Konoha, no he certainly was not.

All around him, snow.

Endless amounts of snow, it wasn't Yuki No Kuni, because they went and global warming'ed that bitch a few years back, so that was crossed off, didn't look like Tetsu no Kuni, where the Samurai hang, he should know he spent like two years of his life there, pretty awesome in fact.

Thus why the man, lean of body yet strong of presence, his long black hair tied into a low ponytail falling to his mid back, spikes abound like it was no-one's business, his fair skin marred only by the several scars that proved his worth as a Jounin, and the triplet of inky black markings along his cheeks, tripling on each one as though to mock Kurama, Kyuubi if you are foolish. He had a Konoha headband tied across his forehead the shiny metal plate glinting ever so slightly as a massive explosion sounded behind him, Menma's dark blue eyes widened as a low whistle broke from his lips.

He was donned in usual Jounin attire, dark green flak jacket over a dark blue, almost black, bodysuit over that was a mesh chainmail shirt, a pair of cargo black cargo shorts hung from his waist as he would not be caught dead wearing skin tight only, a pair of black combat boots with rubber soles and leather gloves with silvery plates on the back, on his 'Pimp Hand Spot' as he liked to call it.

Menma watched as...counting quickly here, 5 people flew from the train, perfectly fine, his sharp now Sharingan eyes all watching as they landed near...a small yellow box on a wheel? Dafuq?

"_Care about that later, for now, saving lives like a badass_." Menma mentally scolded himself creating a quartet of clones to grab a person each while he grabbed the body nearest to him, pulling her, for it could only be a girl with such a cute face, fuck you by the way Haku, her messy red hair tied into a pair of pigtails while goggles sat on her forehead, keeping her fringe up.

She had fair colored skin, wearing a sleeveless blue hoodie with a skull on the mid back over a blood red jacket-shirt thing, a red pleated skirt with black short-shorts following on to black and white striped stockings, she wore mismatched boots.

Oh yeah and had a weird metal arm.

It was all cool though, she made it work, being all cute and hot, he could dig it. Menma picked up her bridal style and was idly amazed how light she was, though he could kick mountains in half, thank you Gai-sensei, so he really _shouldn't _be surprised.

"Another dead Vault Hunter, Handsome Jack's really been busy..." Sighed out a very grating voice to Menma's gorgeous ears, he was pretty everywhere, _everywhere!_

"You, talking box thing, shut up and lead me to a place out of the snow or I'll light your ass on fire!" Ordered Menma, kicking the box, it gasped and touched the sides of his box head with amazement.

"You're not dead! Oh this will be grea-" Claptrap was silenced by a boot to the face; Menma growled lowly and proceeded to stomp its head in. "Useless piece of crap." Grunted the Honorary Uchiha as his clones all came up with a very colorful group of people, he didn't bother casting them a glance beyond the fact that one chick had blue hair, there was a buff midget a dude in black and a man in uniform.

"There's a cave over there, it'll do..." Said Menma before walking towards said cave, he was confronted by a door, but merely looked at it for a moment, before roaring. "NO DOOR SHALL HOLD ME!" And proceeded to boot it in, the door exploded inwards taking a few segments of the wall with it, Menma had to duck to avoid hitting his head and went in.

**10 Minutes Later, Gaige's Pov**

Oh sweet lord her head was killing her, thank goodness she could lay in bed for a little longer, sure her bed had their weird thumping thing going, but maybe her Dad was doing something down stairs, she nuzzled closer, enjoying the odd scent she wasn't too familiar with but either way it was nice.

Her mom must have got her some air freshener, trying to 'feminize' her room some no doubt, she dare not admit it was extremely pleasant.

Then something odd happened.

What felt like and arm wrapped around her shoulders, Gaige couldn't rationalize that one as she opened her eyes, and looked up.

**Narrator POV/Menma's Pov**

Menma was idly playing with the girls hair, the place he'd found was littered with corpses and other boxes with wheels, so he created another clone to set up cleaning this place up, mostly taking the corpses out the front and burning them, nothing else could _really_ be done.

Menma took to the couch, the clone holding the blue haired woman with awesome tattoos lay snoring softly against its chest, while he piled the dudes up next to each other and threw a blanked over them.

Don't worry they were on a mattress not the cold ice, he wasn't _that_ much of a dick.

The cute redhead that lay in his lap, all curled up and adorable as she was, and gripped his jacket lightly and nuzzled into him, which once more, was cute as fuck. He smiled softly; body heat was the best thing for this lot at the moment so why not use that as an excuse to cuddle up to two attractive ladies.

Logic'd bitches.

And then the redhead opened her eyes, her bright green orbs starring directly into his dark blues, she froze, he waved, her eyes widened he made a 'be quite' gesture, pressing his finger to his lips.

"My names, Menma. I saved you and your friends here when the train you were on exploded, you were in the snow freezing, sorry if this position is a little compromising for you, but body heat works best for warming people up. Plus you are pretty cute." Said the Shinobi winking at the end, before the girl could freak out, he knew the women of the Elemental nations freaked the shit out at the first sign of a normal male who liked the female body, so he got used to explaining himself quickly.

The girls eyes fell back down before she looked back up at him once more, "Aren't I heavy...? Ya know this arm isn't exactly light." She mumbled jerking her left arm a little. Menma shrugged.

"I hardly noticed, you're pretty light." Replied the black haired male with a smile. "If you want feel free to go back to sleep, we're in this cave that I think might have belonged to some weird box on a wheel..." Mumbled Menma looking around more.

"Claptrap? Why would there be one out here...? Oh I'm Gaige by the way." She greeted, sitting up on his lap properly not really caring for the fact that she felt a large mass underneath her, though in the back of her mind she was going off.

"_Holy shit that thing feel like a fuckin' python!_" Mentally shouted the Mechromancer but kept her cool, only a small rosy hue forming on her cheeks.

"Awesome name can I ask you something real quick?" Said Menma, garnering Gaige's attention. "Where in the fuck am I?" Gaige looked confused for a moment; if he brought them here shouldn't he know that?

"Pandora, are you a Vault Hunter like us?" Asked Gaige, silently hoping he would say yes, call her a mushy but she was a sucker for the whole save the damsel schtick, one of her guilty pleasures, along with hot cocoa.

That shit was good~.

"Well...fuck." Grunted the Uzumaki softly, clicking his tongue as he did so. "Alright brief summary should tide you over until your friends wake up..." Menma gestured to the three men sleeping the midget spooning the man in black; Gaige had to place a hand over her mouth in attempts to not laugh to loud.

"I'm from a place called Konohagakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, I am a Jounin, a soldier of said village and the son of the village leader. I was out on patrol on the outer rims of our controlled country when all of a sudden I just...found myself here...You have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm talking about do you?" Asked Menma seeing the blank and mildly confused look on Gaige's face.

"Dude you lost me after Kono-whatchamacallit." Said Gaige shaking her head, Menma sighed softly.

"Maybe I accidentally activated Kamui on myself...somehow, or something...Kami I might be another friggen dimension for all I know..." Sighed Menma, he pretty much carried his life around with him in various sealing tattoos but that didn't make leaving the Nations any less bullshit ridden.

"Alright, I am what's known as a Shinobi, we use an energy inside out bodies called Chakra to perform superhuman feats, Chakra is the fusion of Spiritual and Physical energies. With it we can, blow fire, summon lightning create tidal waves, alter the fabric of reality, it's pretty much limitless." Gaige's eyes glittered with the possibilities.

"Show me, that's sound friggen sweet" Shouted Gaige, before clamping her hands over her mouth Salvador merely grumbled something about 'How soft you are, milady' while nuzzling Zero.

Menma abruptly stood and caught Gaige before she could fall, placing her on her feet he waited for her to get her baring's and stepping into the middle of the room, he placed a hand out and in it gathered an orb of glowing blue energy.

"This is my father's techniques the Rasengan, Spiraling Sphere, made of pure chakra, pretty sweet huh?" Gaige's eyes glittered once more as she reached out to touch it but Menma gently moved her hands away, "The Rasengan is a technique the can potentially grind its way through any form of armor given enough rotation and speed, imagine what it could do to your hands?" Gaige gave a small 'Yeesh' at the implications before crossing her arms behind her back.

"So yeah, anyway I'm guessing some shit happened and...Here I am, the cosmos has a funny way of fucking me over, though it's not all bad, I've got short and adorable punk as company." Menma lightly pinched Gaige's cheeks and cooed before she smacked him with her metal arm.

"ANARCHY FOREVER!" She then proceeded to start wailing on him, much to his mirth.

Unfortunately that followed by a high pitched and girlish scream, resonating from the three man buffet on the floor, Gaige helped up Menma as he leant with his arm on her head, she seemed a little miffed but would find vengeance later.

Salvador began cursing in Spanish like a running river as he jumped out of the improvised bed and ran to the other side of the room as fast as his little legs could carry him, he wore an orange shirt and a pair of jeans, his shaggy dark blue beard lined his face while his hair was shaved into a Mohawk.

Zero was a tall lanky fellow with four fingered hands a mask with a black faceplate and a red 0 over his heart, nothing much else to say.

Axton, the Commando was a man with short brown hair; tanned skin wearing a Dhal soldier combat uniform, the author would go into detail but really can't be fucked anymore.

Maya woke up to the sight of a handsome man holding her and shrugged, while she wasn't used to be around many people, or physical contact for that matter, she couldn't' deny it felt nice. Well, it _did_ before he poofed into smoke, leaving her on the couch sorely missing the warmth.

"Morning sleeping beauties." Greeted Menma with a grin, his sharp canines being given full display, "I see we're all enjoying ourselves." His grin turned vicious as he looked to Salvador who merely leveled him the evil eye.

"Where are we..?" Asked Maya, looking around.

"Found you guys in the snow, saved your lives, found out I'm a dimensional transient, found an apparent Anarchist." Listed off Menma while nudging Gaige with his hip, "And apparently a possible group of man-lovers." He taunted disinterestedly, finding his gloved hands infinitely more interesting.

"Hey! I am _not_ gay; I was married thank you very much."

"Could've been a cover up to hide your extreme gayness!" Rebuked Menma pointing at him dramatically.

"Lol" flashed upon Zero's visor while Axton spluttered.

"**Ahh, I see you're all awake. That's good, there is a small town nearby, you'll need to get there if you want to eventually reach Sanctuary, it's the only place where you can be safe from Jack, and from there, the Vault. You have no reason to trust me, but just know I'm here to help you.**" The image of a black haired woman with fair skin and sparkling blue eyes appeared, to all except Menma.

He watched their faces grow distant and entranced.

"Oh that sucks, I feel like I'm missing out." He sighed, placing his hands on his hips.

"**Hello?**" Asked a voice, Menma blinked rapidly before mumbling a small 'hello' back.

"**Oh good you can hear me. My name is Angel, I'm sorry but I pulled you from your world, I need your help.**" Menma's expression could only be described as 'Say Whaaaaat?'

"**I know it sounds ludicrous but please trust me, you were the only one I could reach, spreading myself out into the cosmos, I found you.**" She sounded almost...fond? Of him? HA! The idea was preposterous.

"**Please, when you can, try to reach me on your own, I may be able to establish a link between us, and if you can't help me...Maybe we could be friends?**" She left that hanging and before the Uzumaki could reply her presence faded from his mind, it left a certain...emptiness with it, when she spoke he felt...power, through his body like waves of energy were encompassing his form, it was...surreal.

"_She sounded so...broken. It was like talking to an old war veteran...but her voice was so young. I didn't think anywhere but my own world used children as soldiers but...perhaps it was naive hope? What happened to that girl..?_" Menma's thoughts rung deep, her voice not only made him feel her energy but...struck a chord with him, it resonated with him. It was a strange experience.

He didn't know her end-game, and to be honest he didn't really care, he just felt this...need. To speak with her, it seemed that his coming here was for a reason after all, one question down another several million would no doubt pop up later.

"Right that was...interesting. But the gates barred how are we gonna get out?" Asked Axton, looking to the exit or at least where it should be, as a large metal sliding gate barred them from exiting, he was now holding a Dhal assault rifle.

"That's an easy one." Said Menma, cracking his knuckles and moving forward, "We break it down." He pat the Commando on the head like he was a child before throwing his fist forward and with explosive force the gate flew out of Claptraps Place and into the Southern Shelf, well technically they were still closer to Frostbite Crevasse then anything but that was irrelevant.

"See? Fun." Menma grinned widely while Axton passed out once more, Zero's visor flashed with a ":O" face, Salvador was still coming down from his questioning of sexuality to really pay much attention, Gaige looked like he was a grand prize of sexiness while Maya smiled.

This was _so_ worth killing the head monk for.

"Hello Vault Hunters!" Shouted that grating voice, Menma growled as he turned around, "I see you all made it to my kickin' pad, pretty sweet huh? Allow me to introduce myself, I am a CL4P-TRP Steward bot, but my friends call me Claptrap, well they were if they were alive or even existed in the first place."

For a flicker of a moment, Menma felt bad for the little box, but he couldn't find it in him to get past that damned voice, "Oh hey! Your that big guy who kicked me! I got you this..!" The little box rolled up to Menma and offered him a small black rectangular device...thing.

"What the hell is it?" Asked Menma aloud before he noticed that some weird shit started getting in his path of vision, a red bar, in the bottom left corner, a compass in the center, some kind of map in the top right, he was pretty confused.

"That is an Echo Communicator; it comes with a class twelve Heads Up Display complete with a Mini-map, that I totally didn't fish off the corpse of another dead Vault Hunter." Menma was too distracted to give two shits about what the little box was saying.

"So...I'm gonna take a stretch here and say you guys have way better technology than my world..." Mumbled the Uzumaki scratching his chin, before a low roar was heard, everyone turned to see a big four armed creature, busted in from a hole in the ceiling, grab Claptrap and tear out his eye, before bookin' it out of there.

"That just happened." Mumbled Gaige, Menma laughed uproariously.

"Besides the agonizing pain, this will be great! We can get to Sanctuary and join the Crimson Raiders, I'll be your wise leader, and you can all be my fearsome minions! HAHAHAH!" Claptrap finished with an oddly manic laugh, as he began trying to leave the area.

"Right well...Adventure anyone?" Asked Menma Gaige grinned widely and nodded before her smile fell slightly.

"I don't have a gun..." She sighed, Menma cocked a brow.

"The hell is a gun?" Asked the super-powered Shinobi. He got odd looks all round, Axton having just regained consciousness once more, Zero merely tilted his head. "Getting ahead of myself, Introductions, GO!" He ordered.

"Axton, Commando, former member of the Dhal military, Sir!" Replied Axton, snapping a salute before shaking his head, "Damn kid, you got a Sergeants voice."

"Salvador, local of Pandora, nino." Grunted the small man a pair of blue 'guns' materialized in his hands, while Menma looked curious as hell.

"Zer0." Greeted the Assassin with a nod, Menma merely nodded back, a Sniper Rifle apearing in the lanky creatures hands.

"Maya, I'm a Siren...how can you not know about guns?" Asked the blue haired woman curiously, Menma shrugged once more.

"Told you all I was a Dimensional transient, one minute I was on patrol and the next...poof purple light everywhere and here I am. Well, I was actually out in the snow, where you guys got all explody but meh, details." He shrugged flippantly, he rubbed his chin for a moment. "From what I can guess with the whole, 'Gun' thing I've got a shit-ton to learn about this place, why I can speak your language, I will not bother to ask." Menma laughed lightly.

"Well...that's...super. Let's just get going, maybe this little 'bot can help us some." Sighed Axton before he paused, an SMG digistructed in his hand before he tossed it to Gaige who smiled brightly, "Here ya go, kid. Wicked arm by the way, how'd it get like that?" Asked Axton as they followed the yapping bot down into a small glacial crevasse.

"Particle Saw incident." Said Gaige with a bright smile that just shouted crazy, Menma dared to ask, while none of the others wanted to touch on it.

"I'm gonna go ahead and assume saws are the same here, how the hell did you manage it?" Asked the Shinobi curiously Axton gestured towards a cluster of yellow crates and popped them open, grabbing a bunch of odd looking cylindrical objects, sitting in little containers.

"Well, I wasn't really focusing so and I was thinking of new ways to improve DT when I realized I cut half way through my arm, now at the time I was thinking, no prob just take it out, stab in an Insta-health and be on my way, but then I thought that with a Robotic arm I could use it to summon DT whenever I wanted! So I cut through, a few pints of blood later and my dad screaming like a girl and I got this badass, I call it..." She moved closer to Menma, pulling him down with her robotic arm and whispering "Death Stick...!"

"She's scary." Mumbled Maya, looking at the manic look in Gaige's eye, Menma merely grinned widely.

"I feel that a beautiful friendship has just blossomed." Said Salvador amusedly, Maya sighed at the probably true statement, before she quirked an eyebrow.

"How old are you, soldier boy?" Asked the Siren, Axton pointed to himself before the woman shook her head, he pouted childishly at getting no attention.

"Menma Uzumaki age 16, Elite Jounin of Konohagakure no Sato, Son of the Yondaime Hokage Minato Namikaze-Uzumaki and Kushina Uzumaki, older brother to the Clan Heir, Naruto Uzumaki and Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko, Kurama." A lot of what he just said went _way_ over their heads, Menma just chuckled.

"I'm 16. I'm an Elite Soldier in a Military Village where my father rules, my younger brother is the Clan Heir, and I am the container for a Bijuu, tailed Beast, called Kurama, he has nine tails and is a fox." Explained the Uzumaki.

"Wait so you're an Elite Soldier at 16...? Damn when did you start training?" Asked Axton, shocked, a small level of dread was building in his gut.

"We start training at 8 for 4 years; I graduated the Academy early and joined the Hunter Corps. Before moving on to a more...public duty." He grinned wolfishly at the recollection of his first kill under the Hunter Corps.

"Dude...you're scary." Axton shuddered at the idea of child soldiers, while he enjoyed the glory of stupid stunts; a kid fighting to the death was fucked up on so many levels.

"Child soldiers..." Salvador merely scowled before shaking his head.

Maya remained quiet, she thought her childhood was bad, but that was...messed up.

"Hmm, well no matter, we can discuss my sob story later, let's go kill those things comin' outta the walls!" He grinned widely and flicked out a pair of kunai into his hands, spinning them before charging off.

"This is gonna be fun!" Shouted Gaige, Salvador was already barreling after him, assault rifles at the ready, with the Mechromancer in tow. "ANARCHY FOREVER!"

"God help me..." Pleaded Axton, looking to the sky as though help would come.

It did not.

**End of Chapter.**

**Wasup random ideas, oh hai there.**

**BORDERLANDS! BAM!**

**I decided to step away fromt he hijinks of Menma-ness that I have used to great unoriginality, so I just decided to go with this for now, see where it goes i guess.**

**Also, I fucking hate Claptrap, and Claptrap's birthday made me so depressed I actually felt bad for the little robot, so that's not happening, like...ever again. Obviously with that change done, Angel's little intro speech was changed.**

**Also her bringing Menma here was for a few reasons that will be explained later, I always liked Angel and it made me sad, what happened to her.**

**Gaige struck me as a 'Theres a hot man lets oggle him' kinda girl, not one to really be embarressed about much.**

**Pairings; MenmaXGaige possible harem with Maya. Angel will be another possible.**

**Suggest other parings if you want them, tsall good.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't worry, Krieg will be here, I just saw no reason for him to be on the train, planning to introduce him around the Bloodshot Base time, rescuing Roland and all.**

**Not that this is happening but, why didn't Roland just use the new U station, I mean is there just an implied way that Jack can stop certain people from using it? That would be the only thing to make sense to me, or are the New U stations only used by the players, and don't actually exist in the games world?**

**Anyway, just thinkin' aloud, second question, do they use books at all, or just Echo's? 'Cus I kinda want Menma to learn some techy stuff. If all else fails i'll just be like 'Yo bitch, here's a book, no i don't care if its old school, read it'.**

**That's how imagine the conversation. **

**ANYWAY!**

**Start.**

"...AHA! My eye just switched back on, I see a fearsome group of minions with one especially angry looking minion, and an incredibly handsome robot...which means whoever has my eye..."

A loud roar rung through Frostbite Crevasse, as a bigger bullymong with red accents in its fur shot up over a large outcropping glacier, it landed on the ground and smashed a car in half with its bare fist.

"...Is very close..." Mumbled Claptrap, the terrified bot running off into the corner and shutting in on itself, Menma looked to his group they were still a little weary from the crash, Axton took a surprisingly strong hit to the shoulder by a brat bullymong, so he could hardly aim.

Menma sighed softly, before forming several handsigns. "_Hyouton: Ice Barrier Field!_" He intoned his deep voice echoing around the icy area, crystal clear sheets of ice shot up around Menma and the clearing where Knuckle Dragger stood.

"What the hell!?" Shouted Salvador in shock, seeing the 'Shinobi' calmly take a few more steps.

"You guys are kinda fucked, you're tired and obviously still hurting from the crash. I'll take care of this."

"Are you kidding that things huge!" Shouted Maya, a small flicker of worry entering her voice, he was odd, but he was pretty cool to hang around with so far, she didn't want to have her new Vault Hunter friend get torn apart by a massive bullymong if she could avoid it.

"Nah, I got this. Besides..." Menma ran a finger up his arm, a seal glowed and in a cloud of smoke a beautiful katana appeared, it was simple of make, yet held the most astonishing amount of elegance. The guard was similar in style to Madara-sama's Mangekyo, and incidentally his own, while the grip was covered by a soft blue cloth, black diamonds patterned down the sides, the pommel held a small matching blue cloth while the sheath was gunmetal grey, small white patterns etched into the metal.

"This won't take long." Knuckle Dragger roared, several more Mong's popping from the wall, Claptrap said somethin' about sphincters he really wasn't paying attention at the moment.

Holding the blade in a quick draw stance Menma cracked his fingers, flexing and unflexing them. Knuckle Dragger roared once more several of the mongs charging the black haired Shinobi who smirked.

"_Rairyu no Mai: Ichi_." Said the man he drew his blade and in one blur of movement 4 mongs where now in half sparks of electricity dancing across their charring flesh, Another flash and Menma appeared before a pair of brat mongs who tried to take a swing at him, while a slinger grabbed a pair of sharp icicles throwing them.

"Pathetic." Spat Menma, "_Rairyu no Mai: Ni_." Two brilliant flashes and Menma's blade was back in its sheath, he stood completely motionless in a relaxed stance before the remaining mongs all exploded into gore.

"Oh sweet Christ this kid is terrifying." Said Axton, it was true that pit in his gut was fearsome right now, he felt like scags were running around in his digestive system.

"Terrifyingly AWESOME!" Shouted Gaige throwing her arms up and firing off a few rounds of the SMG, "KICK ASS YOU HANDSOME BASTARD!" Everyone looked at the girl before she grinned widely. Once more a ':O' appeared over Zero's mask, he would have to spar with his fellow Vault Hunter if he had this much skill.

"Was that out loud..?" She asked 'embarrassedly'.

"Well as you can see, Knuckle Dragger, I happened to have killed all ya peeps. I can do so with you, extremely easily. So, when you get to Bullymong Heaven, say hello to your family for me." Menma smile was quite disturbing; he'd got that from his Sensei, Tenzou.

"_**Hey Kiddo's, Handsome Jack here. Just thought I'd call up to tell you, that you're kinda messin' with my plans, see the way it works is, I call Vault Hunters, who look for the Vault then Vault Hunters die. See the problem there? You all aren't dead, so could ya'll just go ahead and off yourselves that'd be great...Thanks Pumpkins.**_"

"What the fuck is wrong with his face...?" Asked Menma suddenly, unknowingly broadcasting his words over the Echo. "Dude why are you wearing that dumbass mask, it's not even cool. And the clips on your face? That can't be sanitary." Anyone that knew him, knows that Menma would talk to inanimate objects, pictures being one of them, so when a picture of a weird lookin' assmonkey shows up in his field of vision, he will complain.

"_**Exscuuuse you?**_"Asked Handsome Jack, at how ridiculous this was, "_**I was talking to the Vault Hunters, not some random with the luck to hear my amazing voice-**_"

"See, Ugly Urkel, that's where you're extremely wrong. I happen to _be_ a Vault Hunter, and also happen to be unfortunate enough to hear you speak...Ya'know what one sec, I've gotta kill somethin', more important than you...where was I, Oh right! _Rairyu no Mai: San!_" Bellowed Menma as he didn't even move a giant explosion of gore and fur covered the crevasse, the ice walls fell back into the ground and Claptrap began congratulating his 'Strongest Minion'.

"Gaige, how the hell do I turn this monkey off?" Asked the Shinobi, the girl almost busted a lung in attempts to quell her laughter while showing him a switch near the top, turning it the cast went dead, he smiled brightly and swung her over his shoulder.

**With Jack**

"Angel! Get me everything you can on this...person!" He refrained from swearing because parents don't do that in front of their children, that's call, rude.

"Uhm..." Angel merely bit her lip while several screens popped up around her containment cell, "I got nothin'." She replied bluntly.

"What do you mean 'I got nothin' you've got a brain the size of a planet Angel, how can you have nothing!?" Hollered Jack, because parents don't yell at their children, they holler.

"He just doesn't appear to exist; even his Echo is registered to a dead person. Maybe he got it off one of the dead Vault Hunters?" Wondered Angel, Jack sighed in frustration.

"Well...Find me something! I don't know name, age, _hair colour_ something that I can hang over this...persons, head!" He left her Control Core, Angel merely giggling as the doors slid shut behind him, a screen popped up, following the Vault Hunters while she watched Menma's form, smiling.

**With the V.H's**

"Awesome, Claptrap, eye. Let's go~!" He picked up the eye looking object while Claptrap tried to follow only to constantly bump into mong-piles, Gaige blew some hair from her eyes before Menma adjusted and smacked her ass.

"_Ooh~ You're goin' down, hombre_." Though Gaige glaring into the skies, Menma set her down, as she punched him in the shoulder, with her robot arm by mistake, her eyes widened, "Oh crap, I'm so sorry I forgot what arm I was using, why are you laughing!? I probably broke your arm!" Shouted the Mechromancer worriedly, Menma merely waved her off.

"Nah, s'ok. I'll get into some more...messed up. Parts of my life at a later date, for now...Can I break this door down, Commando man?" Asked Menma looking to Axton who sighed with a sweatdrop at the grin on his companions face.

"Fear not minions, I got this! Aaaand...OPEN!" Shouted Claptrap, standing before some kind of scanning machine, only for the doors to lock even more, three large beams branching out from each side before several locking mechanisms sounded.

"Nice job, Ct." Said Menma patting the Robot who merely sighed sadly, before perking up.

"Well, I suppose that's it for our adventure. I hear getting eaten alive by Bullymongs isn't so bad."

"**Lemme get that for you.**" Came the sweet and somewhat amused voice of Angel, "**Executing Phaseshift.**" The door folded down and turned into a ramp revealing a small armory, though several weapon containers were empty, Menma hummed in appreciation.

"This tech-shit is kinda awesome, nice job." Complimented Menma with a grin, Angel's smile grew slightly under the praise.

"**It helps being an AI, I'm networked into almost everything on the planet.**" Said Angel with a small amount of pride, Menma detected a lie, but didn't comment on it.

"Man, this is kind of awesome." Said Axton with a smirk before he kicked open the large crate in the middle of the room, they were all a little disappointed when it was only a Tediore shotgun.

"From the disappointed looks this isn't a good find?" asked the Tech-tard, looking over Gaige, whom stood next to Axton.

"Not at all..." Maya sighed and went off around the room opening the ammo crates, before smiling brightly, "Insta-health here, Axton c'mon let's fix up your shoulder." The Commando nodded and sat on one of the crates, lifting his sleeve and sucking in a breath while Maya, bless her heart, tried to _not_ stab the needle in his arm.

Though she did.

Poor girl.

"Hey, nino. You plannin' to do close combat for the most part, hm?" Asked Sal, Menma paused for a moment before nodding, sure he could be the 'tank' why not.

"Then come're imma show you how to use a Shotgun." Salvador grabbed the gun and tossed it to Menma who merely held the stock and nodded, following Sal out the way they came, Gaige followed wanting to see her new friend mess up, for the lol's. Zero was checking over the other crates for anything useful, he did end up finding a couple hundred dollars, sniper rounds and other such things, but not much.

"Alright, hold it like this." Salvador instructed holding a Torque shotgun of his own, Menma nodded assuming the same stance and grip as his small friend. "Now squeeze the trigger and lean in a little, these things gotta kick to them." Menma nodded and leant in a little pulling the trigger and was a little impressed at the kick back of it.

"Right, this thing's only got two shots open to you before ya gotta reload so aim for that mong-pile over there." There was a pile that Ct didn't slam into just a few feet away, "Shoulder the gun and aim down the sights. The two little nubs down the end of the barrel." Menma nodded silently, he fired once more a few lines of buckshot striking the pile but most of them passed by.

"Now, pull the barrel down, it should disconnect..." Menma did as instructed and pulled downwards on the barrel, it popped open revealing two small holes, Sal pointed to them as Menma bent to show the small man, "That's for ammo, here..." he handed the boy a pair of buckshot canisters, they were attached to a small clip, Menma slid them in, pulling them clip with him, he was quite happy to see it was obviously magnetized in some way so he could repeat this process easily.

"Now clip the barrel back up, pump this." He pointed to the hand underneath the barrel as the Uzumaki did as instructed and nodded, "There you go, now you know how to reload and fire a shotgun, contgrats noob." Menma merely sweat dropped at Salvador's grin but decided he'd give him that on.

"Just focus on your aim or you'll waist ammo." Menma nodded while Gaige scoffed.

"Aim is for chumps, FIRE TILL IT'S DEAD!" She shouted to the sky while making some weird handsign, Menma and Sal exchanged looks.

"Your girlfriend is weird, man." Mumbled Salvador while Menma chuckled, Sal pulled the boy down and looked him in the eye, "Don't stick your dick in crazy, bro." Menma paused for a moment as the short man pat his back and walked away, before bursting out laughing like a mad man, the shotgun against his shoulder.

Gaige paused in her anarchist revelations and spotted her fellow hunter laughing his ass off. "Come at me foo!" She shouted before leaping at him, intent on knocking the laughter from his stupidly good looking face!

**Later, Liars Berg.**

"First Flints men, and now Claptrap! I must have been horribly cruel to puppies in a past life to deserve this kind of treatment!" The 'gentlemanly' voice on the other side of the Echo line made Menma want to grin, he liked this guy's voice it was pretty awesome, "I say Vault Hunters could you kill these bandits, I would be ever so grateful." Implored the man, this 'Hammerlock' dude that Ct was talking about.

"Onwards minions!" Shouted Ct, Menma sighed and pat the 'bots head before a square of glassy ice popped up around him and kept in stationary.

"Sit still, Ct. Don't want our wise leader getting hurt now do we?" Asked the Jounin amusedly, if he had eyes Menma was sure that the little bots would be sparkling in glee.

"Maya, Phaselock that guy there..." Said Axton pointing to the man bandit who was walking out of a shack near a vending machine, "Gaige and Sal take out those guys near the bridge, Menma I saw a couple behind the house over there..." The Commando pointed behind the house just before the gate to Hammerlocks place, "Zero and I will take the center with my lady and take out these guys." Pointing to the three near the ammo vending machine.

"GUNZEEEEEERKEEEER!"

"CRASH THE SYSTEM!"

Were the battle cries of the resident nutters, Menma chuckled before flickering around to appear atop the house Axton wanted him at, he looked to see one man pissing on the wall while another looked at the glacier, He leveled his shotgun to the 'looking man' and pulled the trigger, grey matter and bone shards, ho!

The 'pissing man' fiddled with his zipper and attempted to grab the gun next to him but Menma merely leveled the grey shotgun to his face, the man's shoulders sagged while Menma tsk'ed "Gonna have a wicked case of blueballs dude." One bullet later and the there was more blood coating the snow, Menma's Sharingan reflexes popped the barrel and slid two more round into the chamber.

Apparently the Echo devise also was able to 'digistruct' items and hold up to X amount stuff, it could be expanded with a 'Storage SDU' Menma had to remember to collect some more information, Gaige was helpful, like a walking encyclopedia for tech stuff, and a helpful hint of crazy.

Pity he couldn't use his summons in this cold, ooh, Manda would be _pissed_. Ahh well. The Shinobi heard more bullet fire and the dying screams of dirty people, before a pair of dull roars echoed from more 'wall sphincters' pumping his shotgun once more Menma watched as a pair of mongs clambered out of the wall.

A small rush and he kneed one on the face dazing it while shotgunning the other in the head, if he couldn't aim well, he'd just have to make sure he couldn't miss, aim would come later, with a small spin her round housed the dazed mong before infusing a fist with Raiton.

"_Chidori!_" He bellowed, the screams of thousands upon thousands of birds echoed as blood exploded from the mong, Axton, Zero and Maya all turned to see blue lightning flickering across their new V.H companion, blood splashed across his face and shotgun lowered at his side.

It was a mixture between beautiful and scary as fuck, flicking the blood from his fingers Menma turned to his companions with a smirk his gun was scanned by his Echo and digistructed into his hip, with a hum of acknowledgement he dusted off his hands and cracked his knuckles, walking towards them he looked around the town.

"So...Empty?" Asked the Shinobi, referring to the new ghost town.

"How in the hell did you just do that?" asked Maya, stunned, that looked similar to Siren powers but it couldn't have been, he was male, Sirens were all women weren't they?

"Oh that, that's kindergarten shit. Every Shinobi is capable of manipulating their energy in one way or another, I just so happen to be such a badass that I can do pretty much anything with mine." He laidback grin somehow reassured them, "Fear not my companions of companionship, I shall not harm you."

"Spoken like a gentleman, bravo!" Piped up Hammerlock, with a chipper voice, Menma grinned sliding his hands into his pockets as Gaige and Sal came over when once more, Hammerlock flickered in. "I shall be out momentarily, the gate should be powered down." Menma snapped his fingers and created a small groove in the ground so Ct had to come straight to them, the six stood before the gate as it opened.

"Greetings Vault Hunters, I am Sir Hammerlock. At your service." He saluted them and for a moment Menma swore he saw some kind of Banner saying 'Hunter. Scholar. Gentlemen' He was either tripping balls or Angel was messing with him.

"**Maybe...**" came the amused voice of the brunette, Menma smirked lightly as she laughed, he liked her laugh, it sounded a little underused but he'd change that. Gods, he was getting so mushy, this girl was doing something to him.

"Would you be able to fix, Ct?" asked Menma offering the Eye, Hammerlock nodded before pushing Ct down and mumbling under his breath about 'brain cells committing suicide' Menma inwardly sighed a little, maybe there was some kind of way to change Claptrap's body? And maybe his personality, robots had 'cores' right? That's was Gaige briefly touched on during her off-screen explaination of DT, whom he had yet to see unfortunately.

The sound of metal against metal snapped Menma back into reality. As Claptrap had his eye back, before the 'bot could say anything overly offensive Menma merely nudged him with his foot, a menacing glare as the steward bot recoiled, "Easy, scary minion!" He squeaked, Menma nodded to himself, he was going to try his best to get this little box off the blacklist for most people.

That started with fixing his retarded mannerisms, his arrogance, his obnoxiousness and his idiocy. He never said it would be easy, but the little thing had obviously suffered a shit-ton of torment, and if there was one thing Menma hated it was a Pariah.

Jashin he was _way_ too nice for his own good.

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS!

"Well, I'll be...over here, I gotta ya'know...pray to my God and shit..." Said Menma before he began piling up the corpses over a bloody circle with an upside-down triangle, he took a seated position and pulled out a silver medallion with the same symbol.

"..." Axton stood, jaw unhinged at the sight.

"Quite the interesting chap you have there, friends." Commented, Hammerlock a smile on his face, he guided them over to the generator. "How are you finding Liars Berg? It used to be quite the place of hustle and/or bustle before Jack came around, most of the residents fled to Sanctuary, those who stayed were butchered by Captain Flynt..." Hammerlock began speaking with the other V.H's while Menma's whole world was swallowed up by the abyss.

**The Phase...**

Menma stood he felt that same warmth, that pure _energy_ like he could take on the world, it brushed against his skin, touched his mind, everything was...perfect. He opened his eyes and saw...her.

She had black hair, the side was shaved to reveal two metallic clips into the side of her skull, she was so beautiful pale blue eyes sparkled as she looked up at him, she was a bit shorter than him, she was clothed in some odd bodysuit, with a skirt and short sleeves, revealing glowing white tattoos on her right arm.

"Hello...Menma." She greeted warmly, smiling at him with a brightness that could make the sun look dark, Menma had no words to express himself, for the first time in his life, the enigmatic mass murdering, explosive loving, laid back Shinobi, was speechless.

"If you don't close your mouth you'll catch flies...I think, is that how the expression goes?" Asked Angel, tilting her head slightly, as if pondering it, Menma took another step and slid his arms around her, it was instinct, he felt the...need. To hold her close, to try and shield her from everything that would harm her, she looked like a doll, a doll that someone had tried to break.

He would tear that person limb from limb.

Angel was completely stiff for a moment, that foreign feeling of something so simple as a hug, she sighed with so much content it almost broke the Shinobi frigid heart, her body went slack as she leant into him, gripping the back of his jacket tightly.

"Hello...Angel." He whispered, Angel's heart soared, she gripped tighter as though he would disappear, "I gotta say, you're probably the only person in my lifetime to get the 'bleeding heart' Menma Uzumaki, I'm usually pretty good at aloofness." He commented softly, Angel giggled gently and nodded.

"I know I kinda...read a few of your memories..." She replied sheepishly, before quickly adding, "Not on purpose it was a side effect of the Phaseshift from your world to mine...sorry."

"S'ok. Though I'm sure you'll get some mental scarring from ages 2-4, experimentation...is not fun." Angel only nodded once more affirming her tight grip around him.

"So...Why do I feel like I'm gonna get some crazy side effect from being in this place..?" Angel merely grinned innocently. Menma sweat dropped, god he hated spoiling things for himself.

**End of Chapter.**

**Before you all flip shit, if you watched Lilith she could resist the collar, so Angel, in this fic, is using all that resistance to hide Menma from Jack, her ace if you will, so that means all the other stuff will remain canon, with an actual reason :).**

**Uhm, what are other things people might complain about...EMOTION! Ha yes! Right so the adverse effect of being around or speaking with Angel channels phase energy into Menma's body, I could go on about how women are more emotion or some shit but bottom line due to Siren's being a female only, so far, sub-race of human he gets more emotion around her, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it, suck it if you complain.**

**Lataz!**

_**Raxychaz!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for not knowing many phrases Salvador would use, I haven't played him. So he'll be pretty much the same with **_**much**_** less Spanish, because I don't know Spanish and can't be screwed looking it up.**

**Pre-Chapter Echo Entry: Menma Uzumaki, Echo 1.**

_So, I'm on this planet, Pandora, it's pretty cool though I'll admit, the rules and morals about killing are __**much**__ more lenient than the Nations, thank Jashin about that, I couldn't take another fucking speech from Minato about how 'Its ok, you did the right thing'._

_You'd think after being not only taken and experimented upon by Orochimaru from ages 2-4 then brought back into the family at the age of 6 after two years of running around slaughtering people with my new Kaguya Bloodline, worshipping Jashin and all that, that he'd lay the fuck off, though I suppose their favoritism of Naruto makes more sense now that I say that out loud, I suppose I never really have._

_Ah well, we took a break in the Hyperion Barge/Armory...thing, Gaige is currently head first in Maya's breasts, and I am taking pictures with my Sharingan...I think I just saw a nip-slip...awesome. _

_Anyway...ugh, Angel you're probably hearing this right now, Jashin sorry about that, hehe. _

_Talk to you soon, babeh._

_Was that corny enough to be funny, or just weird?_

_**End of Echo Log 1.**_

Menma blinked to the sight of Gaige waving her hand in front of his face, the world of the Phase melted away and he was back to the pile of now gone corpses, this happened whenever he offered a sacrifice to Jashin, the corpses would just burst into flames, it was pretty awesome the first few times, then it just became normal awesome.

"Yo, you in there?" Asked Gaige, poking his cheeks saying 'poke' each time she did so, Menma's flat look made her grin widely, "Nice of you to join us, ugh, your ass must be cold as hell, but then again you have got a pretty hot ass, I mean ya know...Imma go over here now...yeah that's a good idea." Gaige pointed towards a risen gate while Menma merely stood up and brushed himself off, Axton and Sal were reloading at some kind of machine, it was a big box with guns painted on it.

Maya was at another box directly across from it, getting more of those red needles 'Insta-health' apparently, while Zero was...being Zero. A pair of 'objectives' appeared in the corner of his HUD, 'Speak with Hammerlock about the Bullymongs around Liars Berg' and 'Talk to Claptrap' Well considering he was always one for side quests, he was going to talk to Bro-Lock.

That was a thing now.

And you can't stop him.

"Bro-lock-san!" He said, getting the Gentleman's attention, "Bullymongs, around here, whaddaya want done with 'em?" He'd fallen into this whole 'slang' thing, quite well, Angel apparently slipped a few tidbits into his head while he was in the Phase, during his 'transition' from the Nations to the 'Borderlands'.

"Ah, yes. Apologies my friend but I didn't catch your name."

"Menma Uzumaki, a pleasure. Sweet beard-stache by the way." Complimented the Uzumaki, the man's singular visible blue eye brightened as he shook the young man's hand.

"Thank you kindly, Menma. Well there are two things you and your rowdy band of Vault Hunters could do for me, you see while Liars Berg may not be particularly populated now I believe that these damned Bullymongs shouldn't be allowed to roam around this town desecrating the memory of those who once dwelled here, if you could be ever so kind as to slaughter the rabble I would be most appreciative, and I would show this appreciation with money and guns." Menma nodded as another ping on his HUD showed that 'mission'.

"And secondly, do you see my hat..?" It was a rhetorical question but Menma nodded.

"It's quite awesome good sir." Answered the Uzumaki once more Hammerlocks eye brightened, as he puffed his chest proudly.

"This is the hat of a gentleman, but its missing something a certain je ne sai quoi, I think some bullymong fur might do the trick. To get the fur you must rip it from the beasts hide with your bare hands, just weaken them then finish them off with fisticuffs!" Spouted the Hunter quite enthusiastically, Menma couldn't fight the grin; damn these people were so weird it was badass!

"Sure, no problem, be back in a bit." Menma offered his fist and the older man look puzzled for a moment before copying his younger friends action, Menma fist bumped the older man and grinned, "That's a thing we shall do from now on good sir." Said the Uzumaki throwing a wave over his shoulder.

"I do believe I have just made friends with a very interesting young man, Friendship HO!" Mumbled Hammerlock with a salute to the skies.

**Group Echo; On.**

"_Alright, I'm going to kill some Bullymongs for Bro-lock, anyone wanna join in?_" Asked Menma, he was standing on the bridge just outside of town.

"_Yeah I'm down._" Came Maya's voice.

"_I bet you are heyoo!_" Said Axton, laughing.

"_That was terrible, man._" Muttered Sal.

"_I too will assist._" Intoned Zero.

"_About damned time you spoke up, Zero. How can we become best buddies if you're so cold?_" Asked Menma, the small video feed, don't ask he didn't know how this shit worked, showed him with a sad face on.

Zero did not answer.

"_Where's crazy at...I mean Gaige..?_" Asked Salvador, a small chuckle leaving him.

"_Killin' bandits. I just crushed a guy's head with my fist, it was pretty fricken sweet!_" Said the excited voice of Gaige, "_DT, SLICE THAT FOO!_" Said the Anarchist before the sounds of flesh being torn was sounded, along with gunfire.

"_I'm so hard right now..._" Said Menma.

Maya's feed showed her blushing brightly, "_So big..._" She realized she was still casting and quickly cut the feed.

"_Well I feel emasculated__._" Said Axton with a sad sigh, actual weeping was heard from Salvador.

**Group Echo; Off.**

"Down boy." Drawled out the Shinobi, flipping a kunai over and over as Zero and Maya came over to join him, the Assassin took a knee and aimed down the sights of his rifle.

"I shall cover you, dispatch them quickly, another area awaits." Menma nodded as Maya brought her Maliwan SMG forward once more, the sides glowing a light blue, signaling it to be a shock weapon.

"**If you want to call out your gun, hold your hand over the Echo device and it should appear, the Echo has a subtle link to your brain, that's how the HUD works, so it will respond to mental commands.**" Informed Angel over the link the two shared, Menma inwardly smiled and nodded, holding his hand at his hip his shotgun appeared in his hands, pumping it once he loaded a round into the chamber.

With a sharp whistle he drew several Bullymongs to them, Maya Phaselocked a brat while Zero shot its face off, Menma slid down the small hill and unloaded into the neck of another while stomping a smaller one's head through the hard ice, killing it.

Zero's rifle sounded several more times as another brat now had to more whole to breath out of and with a small barrage Maya's SMG lit it alight with electricity, frying it, she shifted her aim to another smaller bullymong that was coming up behind Menma only for him to spin around and decapitate it with a kick.

"FORE!" He shouted with a wide grin, laughing loudly as he did so.

"_Wonderful! Admittedly your achievement would be more celebrated were any of the people of Liars Berg still alive but still - Well done!_" Piped up Hammerlock, enthusiastic as always.

Menma set to cutting the fur off the two brats and Hammerlock once more flickered in. "_Yes those will do wonderfully, could you collect me a few more, I could use them for my almanac._"

"_Ooh! Are you collecting bullymong fur, I love that stuff! Its soft, warm and really good and absorbing robot tears! Hey, why don't you bring it to me instead of Hammerlock, I'll even throw in the awesome shotgun I found off a dead Vault Hunter it's still fresh; you can smell the sadness on it._" Menma was at a cross roads here, he wanted to give it to Hammerlock since the guy did help them out, but the pity that was slowly growing for Ct was beginning to cloud what reasoning he'd managed to collect.

So he came to a compromise. "Ct, how about I get you some of the bullymong fur from another group later, since Hammerlock did ask first? That ok with you?" Asked Menma still shaving the fur from one of the brats while Zero did the other.

Maya went about collecting the cash that for some reason flew out of the mongs after they died, Pandora was AWESOME!

"_Sure friend of friends! And you can even still have the shotgun!_"

"_Yes, most gentlemanly of you, Menma, just for that I shall throw in one of my finest sniper rifles atop the monetary reward for collecting the furs._"

"Mr. Problem Solver." Complimented Maya with a playful smirk, Menma grinned, something he found himself doing a lot around these people, for some unjashingly reason.

Like ungodly, but with Jashin instead ya get it? Ya know what? Fuck you.

BAD JOKES FOR THE WIN!

"Well..." Menma switched off his caster and sighed, "I honestly feel bad for the little guy, I know what its like to be an outcast, so I kinda wanna help him." Mumbled the Jounin with a small sad sigh, he then remembered something as his face brightened he took off his headband and twirled his kunai, before slicing right through the leaf symbol.

"May i ask, why you did that?" Asked Zero, curiosity betraying him.

"The slash mark signifies my severed ties to my village, a Missing Nin. Because fuck that place." Grunted Menma at the end grabbing the pile of fur and twirling it all up so it didn't fall apart, Zero did the same as they carried the decent sized 'bouquet' of fur, Menma switched his Echo back on. "This should do, right lock?"

"_Hmm, unfortunately I would require a few more specimens, but fear not chaps and chappete! The Graveyard has yet to be cleared! Monster slaying HO!_" Menma Chuckled while Maya's shoulders sagged and she slapped her forehead, the Uzumaki merely threw and arm over her shoulder and pat her condescendingly.

"Poor Mai-Mai."

**(I would write poor May-May but that would be misread, so I'm just gonna write it how its said to avoid confusion.)**

**With Gaige**

The cute anarchist and her trusty bff DT were going over the corpses of the bandits they'd just _**wrecked**_. Well, Death Trap was, but Gaige was merely mumbling to herself. "You ass is too hot for the cold!? What the hell is wrong with me! Why would I say that!?" Shouted the Redhead, looking to a dead Psycho as though he had the answers.

"I mean yea he's flirted with me he even touched _my_ ass which normally I would kill people for, but that was just so..._corny!_" She complained to the Psycho, only slump her shoulders in defeat.

DT approached his master, apparently having found an Echo Recorder, as an Echo-caster herself she was quite interested as to what it held.

"_We've hijacked a Hyperion train, heading through the Dust, they haven't dispatched anymore troops to come after us from New Haven and a sandstorm devoured there nearest outpost, we should reach Sanctuary in-_" The woman on the recording, Helena Pierce, was cut off as sirens began to blare in the background.

"_Oh Damnit! Everyone, get away from the Windows!_" She shouted, before the Echo went dead.

"_The fuck was that all about?_" Questioned the voice of her current object of desire.

"_You found one of Helena Pierces audio-logs, she was one of the members of resistence, I would very much like to find out what happened to her, should you find any more audio-logs please bring them to me and I would be happy to pay you for them, Miss Gaige._" Said Hammerlock, always the gentleman that he is.

"_I was talking about the whole ranting thing, I found that pretty funny._" Gaige paled in relisation before pulling her hood down to cover her face. Menma's amused face appeared in the top right corner of her vision regardless.

"Oh crap!" She shouted god damn it! Curse you reflex of always having the need for the Echo to be casting!

"_Aww, c'mon Gaige. No need to be all bashful, I find it endearing how...awkward you are at flirting._" He said blowing a kiss. "_Kisses and love!_" It fell away while she merely cried waterfall tears at how lame she must have looked.

Like-like-like a _conformist!_

Ugh!

**With Axton and Salvador**

"So...we're on Shield duty?" Sal nodded to the Commando's words, before a message popped up on their screen.

"_Yo dudes, while you're over collecting the shields would it be too much trouble to collect like...four or so tufts of bullymong fur for Ct? Little dude promised a shotgun for it, if that sweetens the deal._" Menma gave a two fingered salute before blinking away.

"For someone who not say 30 hours ago didn't know what an Echo was, he's doing pretty well at micro-managing his time with it." Said Salvador, Axton sighed.

"I feel like this whole 'side-quest' thing will be a common occurrence." Said the Commando, as a few shots were fired towards them from the older Crimson Raider base, they quickly dived and rolled up towards the glacier the house was built against, Salvador popping out and taking two shots at a barrel that a Midget Shotgunner was standing next to, it exploded with an awesome display of gore.

"Money is money, nino." Said the native Pandoran, Axton conceded that, after all money made the world go round, that seemed even more apt for a world like Pandora, money bought bullets, guns and bullets, bullets killed bandits and monsters which in turn dropped either money or valuables to be sold, perfect cycle.

"Can't argue with that." Axton tossed out his turrent as it began unloading a spiral of ass kicking hot lead into a Marauder, rolling out of his cover and jumping up onto the jetty he fired off another four rounds from his assault rifle into the head of a bandit who was jumping from the area near the lift to the roof of the house built into the glacier.

Either way, it was kinda fun to be doing all this.

**With Menma, Maya and Zero.**

They had finished off the ones in the Graveyard and handed off the furs to Hammerlock who immediately placed one spun group onto his hat, "Ahh! Thank you my friends you've helped an old man look far more badass then he deserves...I was referring to myself by the way, anyway as promised..." A Jakobs sniper rifle with a scope and bayonet digistructed into Hammerlocks robotic hand, along with a wad of bills in his other, for both slaying the 'mongs and collecting the furs, "Your reward, old Martin, ahh good times were had with this gun, do take care of it." Menma nodded, handing Maya the bills and taking the gun, they walked off towards the gate, as Gaige was fiddling around on the roof off Hammerlocks shack, he offered the rifle to Zero who merely shook his head.

"No thank you. My rifle is adequate enough. Your offer is appreciated." Zero held up a single hand and shook his head, before lowering his hand to gesture to Maya, "Would you like the rifle?" Asked the Assassin.

Maya paused for a moment, "No, I'm more of a mid-range fighter." Menma huffed lightly; he didn't want to waste Bro-locks generosity so he slid the rifle, which also had a holster, onto his back.

"Fine I'll take it; Sharingan is OP enough that I'll aim like a boss anyway." Said the honorary Uchiha, he could faintly hear Madara's chuckles on the winds, but shook his head.

"Sharingan?" Asked Maya, interested, Menma was about to open his mouth to answer but was distracted by the sound of Gaige's short yelp, he turned and saw the Anarchist about to fall off the roof of Hammerlocks shed, Echo-log in hand, he flickered before catching her mid-drop, landing with out so much as a sound.

"You ok, Gaige?" Asked Menma the girl placed a hand over her chest and breathed deeply a few times.

"Yeah, I'm good, just havin' a panic attack." Answered the girl, Menma grinned and set her down, "The other Echo is pinged over there...here...I'll share it with you..." Mumbled, Gaige distractedly, as she fiddled with her Echo a little, Menma's HUD gained a small diamond shaped tracker that was highlighting a small protrusion outside a house, as he got closer to the objective it was a metal slide door, a small place to store wood perhaps? Opening it he was given the sight of a frozen bandit corpse holding the echo, his face contorted in pain, Menma merely gave an exaggerated shudder as he plucked the recorder form the dead man's hands.

Fingers came with it.

"Oh that's nasty..." Said Maya, placing her hands over her mouth and looking away, not that she was particularly squeamish, she just figured she'd join along with the small flicks of humor that the enigmatic Vault Hunter seemed to go on.

"I know right there like little finger-sickles, Oh god so many flashbacks right now..." The grin on Menma face and the sheer amount of glee in his voice was enough to make Maya laugh, Zero allowed a small dry pair of 'Ha-Ha's' to leave him, but under his helmet he was still holding his usual deadpan stare.

"Yo Gaige, here." Menma took the log to Gaige who now stood with Hammerlock, his chin resting atop her head as he offered her the log, "Oh look at it~ Its sho shiny!" He said with an over exaggerated voice of childlike wonder.

"Ahh thank you very much, Here is your payment." Once more a wad of cash digistructed into his hand and he offered it to Gaige who took it with a smile, letting it fall into her Echo.

"Hey Gaige..." Said Menma as they all walked towards the gate, "Guess what?"

The redhead paused, looking up at her object of 'I want to bed you'ness' and saying. "What?"

"Hickey." Said Menma simply, as though talking about the breeze.

"Hickey?" Asked Gaige.

"Mhm, Hickey." said Menma once more.

"I don't get iiiiiII!" Gaige's squeal drew the others attention, Maya and Zero were almost mesmerized at how the black haired male could go from relaxed with pockets in his hands to sucking upon the redheads neck-flesh.

"_**HICKEY!**_" And thus the Uzumaki placed a big red love bite on the nerdy Mechromancer collarbone, Gaige moaned softly while the others all quickly made haste away.

**End Of Chaptah!**

**Hope you guys enjoyed it, this story will be 'epic' in length as in fucking long, so there will be plenty of time for character development and such, CT will eventually become a droid, his AI core will be fucked with so that he's not retarded and other such things, because the poor bastard makes me sad.**

_**Raxychaz!**_


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